“The main reason I support Hospiscare is because of the experience that I had with the hospice in October 2018.
“I had just moved back from London to Devon where I grew up and my mum, Gill, was not in the best of health.
“Mum had never been that well over the course of her life, but within a few weeks of me moving back she became very unwell and ended up at the Royal Devon and Exeter Hospital.
“I got a call from my dad asking me to come and see them in the hospital with my brother, and it was there that they gave me the news that Mum had cancer. I wasn’t completely shocked at the news, because Mum had already had breast cancer when I was a teenager and been successfully treated. This time, things were different. We were told that the cancer was untreatable and so it was a terminal diagnosis.
Chris’s mum, Gill, on her wedding day
“Over the next few weeks with Mum in hospital, she became more and more ill and despite having a stent fitted in her bile duct (because she had bile duct cancer), she just didn’t get any better. In fact, she developed sepsis at one point and nearly died.
“After a few weeks, it was clear that Mum was very ill and in a lot of pain. It was at this point that we got the news that Hospiscare, who were just across the car park from the hospital, had a bed for Mum if she wanted it. We were already familiar with the hospice and knew how great it was as my grandmother, Betty, had been cared for on the ward in 2004.
“We went over to Hospiscare in an ambulance – my first time in an ambulance – and it was quite fun doing the journey with Mum in her bed. As soon as we got there, the staff were absolutely amazing. They really looked after Mum, getting her settled and set up in her bed which, through a strange coincidence, was the same spot on the same ward that my grandmother had been in 14 years earlier.
Chris with his mum, Gill, before her diagnosis
“I don’t know if I expected Mum to live for more than a week or so. Some people in the hospice whose families we had talked to had been there for quite a long time, so we weren’t sure what to expect.
“Over the next few weeks, I did a gruelling round trip every day to my work in Taunton and back to Exeter to the hospice to spend as much time with Mum as I could. A lot of the family did the same, including my dad, my brother and his wife, my mum’s sister, and my cousin – and the hospice made sure that everyone was welcome.
“Those three weeks at Hospiscare went by in a bit of a blur. The staff – from the reception team, the healthcare assistants, the porters – were so supportive, welcoming and accommodating to me and my family.
“I particularly remember wheeling Mum out into the garden on a beautifully sunny October day and, although she was on a lot of morphine at the time, she talked a lot about her memories of growing up and about her life. That was one of the most special moments for me with Mum in those last few weeks.
Gill with her son, Andy, and husband, Mike, before she became ill
“I really can’t speak highly enough of the Hospiscare staff – they were absolutely amazing and made those last few weeks of Mum’s life the best that they could have been.
“That’s why I really do my best to support Hospiscare in any way I can. One of the ways my dad and I do that is by taking part in the annual Men’s Walk fundraising event.
“We really love doing this – not only because it’s basically a pub crawl with a bit of a walk – but because we know that by doing it we’re honouring both Mum’s memory (and I think she’d be really proud of that), and also supporting the hospice financially so that other people can experience a great end to their life, in the same way that Mum did.
Chris with his partner, Max, taking part in Men’s Walk 2024
“I know that there are so many other families out there who will go through something similar when a loved one dies, and I want to, albeit in a very small way, help pay that forward.
“Of course, the Men’s Walk is a really important part of supporting Hospiscare but when I discovered that the charity runs its own lottery, I couldn’t resist taking part in that as well.
“We all love playing a lottery, but for me it’s not about the winning, it’s about making my support of Hospiscare a little bit fun, and if I do win a few quid then happy days! It’s easy to sign up to the lottery and I also look forward to when the results are drawn.
“It was during free Wills month in October that I realised I could have a Will drawn up for free, by Octopus Legacy, who are partners with Hospiscare. I’d needed to make a Will for quite a long time and had been putting it off as I didn’t know where to start. If anything, planning for the future is something that I’ve realised is super important, especially since Mum died at the relatively young age of 64 – and I wanted to make sure that I had the chance to leave money to the people I love.
Gill with her family before her diagnosis
“Again, it was really easy to sign up for the free Will and whilst there’s no expectation of leaving Hospiscare any of my estate, I’m really happy to have found an easy way to do that – and it didn’t cost me anything at the point of signing up.
“Hopefully for me it will be many, many years before Hospiscare gets the benefit of my bequest, but I feel really happy that I’ll be leaving something to them in my Will after I die.
“It’s really fulfilling to think that the money I’ll be leaving Hospiscare will go towards keeping services running and helping other people at the end of their lives and their families have the best end-of-life care possible. I’m so proud to be a supporter of Hospiscare and I really would love as many other people as possible to be supporters too.”
