My mum, Rachel, was a very caring person and loved life. She adored Dartmoor and could happily spend hours walking there. She had fought Hodgkin’s Lymphoma in the 1980s, and then years later, she was diagnosed with breast cancer, then oesophageal cancer, and finally, lung cancer. Each time, she faced it head-on. But when the final diagnosis came and treatment was no longer an option, we needed help – and Hospiscare was there for us all.
Being able to care for Mum at home meant everything.
Mum wanted to stay at home, surrounded by her family and everything she loved. Thanks to the way Hospiscare worked alongside NHS district nurses, we were able to do that. Hospiscare’s amazing community nurses visited regularly and were always at the end of the phone, day or night. Gradually, they made adaptations to the house so Mum could stay at home. They organised for a stairlift to be installed, as well as a rise and recline bed to keep Mum comfortable. Other essential equipment was provided by Hospiscare when Mum’s mobility lessened, including a commode, walking aids and a wheelchair and finally, towards the end of her life when Mum’s pain became unbearable, they set up a syringe driver to automatically deliver her pain medication.
Sarah’s mum Rachel, celebrating her birthday at home
Hospiscare cared not just for Mum, but for all of us as a family. They gave us the confidence and emotional support to be with her at home and not feel overwhelmed.
As time passed, Hospiscare’s visits became more frequent, supporting Mum and her husband Mike to understand what to expect from the coming months and weeks. They also talked with Mum about what she wanted to happen or achieve in those final weeks and days. They talked her through how to cope with her medication, and also how to manage the many visitors that were calling, from friends and family to the various medical teams providing her care.
“The emotional care and one-to-one support we received from Hospiscare was absolutely invaluable.”
Hospiscare gave mum a voice when her strength was fading.
A few days before Mum died, one of the Hospiscare nurses came out to see us. Mum asked if she could speak to her alone. When the nurse called us back in, she said Mum knew she was nearing the end and she knew we wouldn’t want to hear this. It was as if Mum was asking for our permission to let her go. She just wanted help from the Hospiscare nurse to tell us. We were devasted, but Mum was ready, and she wanted us to be okay with it. From this point, she started to sleep most of the time.
My birthday was just a few weeks away, but we decided to have a little early celebration. Mike helped Mum get comfortable and we had champagne, which she had always loved. I’m so glad we had this celebration when we did, as sadly, Mum died only two days later.
Rachel and her husband Mike raise a glass of champagne from her bed in an early birthday toast to daughter, Sarah
In the end, Mum had the peaceful death she deserved.
Mum died in her own bed, in the home she loved, with us by her side. The Hospiscare nurses made sure she was pain-free and comfortable – and they even made sure she was dressed in the pyjamas she had chosen for her cremation. That care, that thoughtfulness, meant the world to us.
Even after Mum died, Hospiscare continued to support me, checking in and making sure I was coping.
I’m running the Leeds 10k to say thank you.
Sarah on her wedding day with her mum Rachel and step father, Mike
To give something back, my husband and I are running the Leeds 10k in Mum’s memory. We want to raise money for Hospiscare so more families can experience the love and care that we did.
Please support Hospiscare’s Spring Appeal
“If you’re able to support these wonderful nurses by making a donation, please do. You’ll be helping families like mine who are losing their loved one far too soon.”
Hospiscare cared for over 2,000 people last year, but with rising costs and limited NHS funding, they can’t do it without help.
If you can, please consider making a donation to their Spring Appeal. It will help families like mine face the most difficult moments with dignity, comfort, and love.
